Dear Diary
by Shinrai Faith
Summary: FINISHED Sora's POV His own personal space. Takes place from his childhood all the way up to the disaster. Sora doesn’t update much in his diary, only special events. But who really can keep a diary? Sora x Riku Hints of SoraKairi M for later entries.
1. My New Journal :Age 11:

**A/N: **Ah yes, I am finally back and this story is just for the fun of it for being back? I got this idea from another fan fiction called "Sora's Diary". But I actually decided to make actual entries and that's it.So basically this is taking place before they leave the island. It will also progress from the time when they were little kids all the way to the disaster. Sora doesn't update much in his diary, only special events. He seems like the type that isn't exactly on top of things like keeping a diary. He also includes doodles!!

Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **_I do not own Kingdom Hearts! Props go to the wonderful creator _Tetsuya Nomura!

_-Note- There are also references from some doujinshis in here. I do not own the story of those either. I will credit when it comes time._

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Dear Diary,

Sora here!

I am 11 years old today! Finally my mom bought me a journal for my birthday. I have been wanting one forever!

Riku, Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus all came over for cake and presents. Wakka gave me a big bouncy ball. Selphie gave me a jump rope. I think it's kind of a girly thing to give me though, but I like it! Tidus gave me an "I.O.U." card. He's always cheating out on things!

And Riku gave me a wooden sword. I guess that means we will be able to play pirates and knights now! He told me he made them both.

That was so nice of him.

Well I better be getting into bed now before mom comes in! She'll be mad if I am still up hiding under my sheets with this flashlight!

Goodnight!

-Sora

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**A/N: **I have decided to make the chapters entries. I figure that would be best! That way it isn't messy. Maybe. -shifty eyes-


	2. Our New Island :Age 11:

**A/N: **Entry after entry! This is so much fun to write.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.

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Dear Diary -

Today was awesome!

Riku and I decided to take one of the small boats that his parents gave him, and float out in the ocean!! We played pirates all day and found new land! It was another small island that Riku and I own now. He says that it's "our own play place and just ours, so no one else can know about it.".

I'll keep it a secret.

It's pretty cool having a whole island to yourself. Sometimes I wonder why Riku doesn't like sharing though, but that's okay. Maybe one day Wakka, Selphie, and Tidus can all come with us and we can hunt for buried treasure!

We had a problem deciding what we were going to name the island. I wanted to name it "treasure island" but then Riku said that name is over used. We then had a quick sword fight to determine who would be the new owner of the piece of land.

I lost.

The island is called "The Land of Fae"

He said he read it in a book. Something about the dead and second sight. I don't know. It's really a girly name. Oh well. Fae is a nice name.

Tomorrow Riku says we are going to camp out at night and have fun at the island. I still need to ask my mom about it though. I hope she lets me! Riku said something about something special happening that night.

I wonder what it is.

Riku is such a nice friend…

www(dot)i282(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/kk251/SorasDiary/Map.jpg

P.S. I drew a map! I hope we find the treasure!

-Sora

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**A/N: **I do not draw like that! xD  
By the way you need to, since is evil, just replac ethe (dot)s with actual periods. You can find it there.


	3. Shooting Stars :Age 11:

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts.  
Oh yes and here are some references to the doujin "Innocent" created by RS. Amazing doujin. I suggest it. I will be using more from this doujin later.

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Dear Diary,

Riku and I are sitting here on the beach now, guarding our island.

It's late, and my mom won't let me stay here overnight on the island. Riku's mom wouldn't let him either. Oh well. Maybe when we are older we can!

We were just playing around with our swords when something amazing happened! There were a bunch of shooting stars! Riku said he's never seen anything like it before. They were coming down quickly. I was a little scared. Then I realized something.

I wished on them!

But I hope that one of my wishes come true.

I wished that Riku and I will be friends forever. No matter what.

We got ready at that point so that if the stars where going to hit our island we would defend it, knocking them back up into the sky! Riku told me that we would be okay if we were together.

He's just kind of sitting here now with me. He asked me why I am keeping a diary. He called me a girl because of it. I need somewhere else to tell my feelings and about my days.

I don't want to forget these memories…

Wait… I think we hear something. It sounded like a girl?

Is there someone else that lives on this island?  
A monster?

I have to go! I will write about it later!

For now Riku and I have to check it out.

-Sora

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**A/N: **Oh no. A girl you say?


	4. Kairi :Age 11:

**A/N: **Yay I have watchers now. So here is a new entry. Sorry it took so long to get up.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, etc.

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Dear Diary,

Her name is Kairi.

She has short mahogany hair. The prettiest blue eyes I've ever seen.

Riku isn't very happy that a new girl is on the island now. He says she probably has some type of disease because she is not from around here. I don't think that is true. He can be a little cold to new people. He also says that she will end up breaking us apart.

I don't believe that.

Riku and I are so close. It's scary. I couldn't imagine us apart.  
He told me a couple of days ago, that we would be friends forever.

He also called me an idiot right after that.

Riku really is confusing.

We want to go explore at the island again tomorrow.  
I want to go deep into the woods! I'm sure there is something there!

Sora


	5. Choco :Age 11:

**A/N: **I didn't really like the last chapter but that's alright. This one should be interesting.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts and the Story of Choco. That is from the doujin "Innocent".

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Dear Diary,

We went into the woods. Riku was complaining the whole walk! He thought I was a liar when I said I found something.  
It was scary.

A dead Chocobo. Well, at least, that's what Riku said it was.  
And then I found an egg! And it hatched! I watched the birth of Choco!

Choco is my new pet.

I love him. He loves me too! Mom won't let me keep him though. Riku seems a little angry at the whole situation, too.  
Why does he hate everything that is not from the islands?

I am feeding Choco right now. He is so cute. I love holding him.  
Though again, Riku is getting kind of mad.

I told him I would play with him after!

I really don't know what has gotten into him lately.

Kairi and I also went to our secret place. At least she likes Choco. I also drew him with a rock on the walls! It looks so good.  
Too bad Riku won't like it…

Well, I guess I should go apologize to him.  
Choco better be good and stay here!

www(dot)i282(dot)photobucket(dot)com/albums/kk251/SorasDiary/ChocoRikuKairi(dot)jpg

Sora + Choco


	6. Always There For Me :Age 12:

**A/N: **I keep getting more watchers. I love you all who are watching. Thanks. Hopefully I'll start getting some reviews. Also Sora is 12 here, so he had Choco only for a little while. Not very long though. He just needs to get a little older and it'll be alright. Yes it moves pretty quickly for age but you know.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, its characters, or Choco which came from the amazing doujin, "Innocent" written by RS.

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Diary,

I wish I had never found Choco.  
I wish that he could have just lived his happy life wherever he came from.

Riku was right.

I should have just left him in the woods. But how could I?

If I ever woke up alone, expecting someone who was close to me to be beside me, and they weren't…  
I'd be sad.

Choco died today.

Riku said that he was weak. He couldn't possibly withstand the outside.  
I sat there at Choco's grave.  
Crying my eyes out.

Why did he have to die?

Why?

At least I know now that Riku will never leave me.  
He told me so.

He held me there tightly at the rock side.  
Between my sobs and gasps for air, all I could hear from his voice was…

"I'll always be with you."

- Sora

.- R.I.P CHOCO -.


	7. Changing :Age 12:

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**

Disclaimer:

I do not own Kingdom Hearts or it's Characters.

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Diary,

I have found it that if I just say "diary" it sounds a lot less girl  
y.I'm glad that I have some place to talk about my feelings… as girly as that sounds.

I keep wondering what these changes I am going through are.  
My mom can't really tell me, she's a girl. And my dad. Well.

He's gone.

My voice is getting deeper.  
I am getting taller.

Riku is doing the same. But he seemed to of beat me in the height department.  
His voice is also lower than mine.

I also seemed to have noticed that girl I was talking about a year ago.  
Kairi.

Why do I feel out of breath when I see her?  
Why is it that my stomach gets all upset, and feels as though it is flopping around.  
My legs get weak.  
My chest becomes numb.  
I even BLUSH!

And why is it that I can feel that way around Riku too?

I've noticed that.

Ah, maybe I need to take a break from writing in this diary.  
Maybe it's confusing me.

- Sora

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**A/N: **No this doesn't mean that I'm stopping the story. It only means that I am going to transition into Sora being 13!


	8. If Only in my Dreams :Age 13:

**A/N: Ah it seems that I have slipped up and totally lost my writing self to life. Just got done with Metrocon this passed weekend, and it was a blast! The anime human chess match went great. On top of all of this my boyfriend had to go and fly to visit his father for two and a half weeks, so I am stuck doing nothing... which is good news for you people. So here's to hoping I can finish this somehow.**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Kingdom Hearts or it's characters. That would be amazing if I did though.**

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Diary -

I am thirteen now.  
It's been a while.

Riku has been acting very strange, so says Kairi.  
She keeps talking to me about it.  
For some reason her and Riku seem to be clashing heads as well.

They are keeping their distance from each other and it has become very awkward when we sit around on the tiny small island with the crooked poupu tree.

For some reason I keep having these dreams.  
Dreams about this weird set of people.

I have also been having dreams about...  
Him.

Riku.  
Why is it that it's him?  
So bizarre.

First it starts off nice, and then it is followed by me loosing him within a dark portal of some sort.

The kind of nice I am talking about has to do with us doing something...  
Intimate.

Why do I keep having these thoughts and feelings?  
And why is it that I am enjoying them.  
I like Kairi.  
Right?

I'm straight.  
So why is it that I keep getting teased about it in my dreams.

There is where he tells me these magnificent things.

"I love you, Sora"  
"You're so funny. Kind. Amazing."  
"It's so wonderful to feel the warmth of your body against mine."  
"If this is the only way to be closer then let me do it."

And sometimes he does just that.  
His way of getting closer is by going deep inside of me.

That much closer.

He wants me to sleep over at his house tonight.  
I will definitely write about what happens tomorrow.

I know it'll be okay.  
He is Riku after all.  
And those are just my dreams.

- Sora

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**A/N: Next chapter. The juicy details. And I will call it just that.**


	9. The Juicy Details :Age 13:

**A/N: Hppy birthday to me today!  
****I am on top of things yay! Finally I am continuing writing and I do have another story in store for you all too. So here is what I have been waiting to write forever!! I will love this chapter.**

**All I have to say is... **

**Longest. Chapter. Ever.**

**RATED M! For real.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. Or Red Bull. Thanks!**

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Riku.  
He did it.  
He was curious right?

Maybe more.

I want to go inside of the details.  
I want to remember last night...  
Forever.

X X X X X X X X X

I went over his house around dinner time.  
Twilight.  
The sun was setting and his parents were out.  
Apparently they were on some sort of business trip on the second main island.  
It always happens really...

Riku is usually always by himself. He basically raised himself.  
I feel bad for him sometimes.

We were munching on our delivered cheese pizza.  
It was so good.

He kept looking at me.

Staring.  
His piercing sea green eyes just wouldn't look away.  
I felt their gaze, finding myself looking up to let my own eyes meet his.  
He'd turn away.

Why was he teasing me with his eyes.  
Sometimes I wondered what he would be thinking.  
I guess I found that out later.

Pizza was followed by a movie in his room.  
There, a small TV in the corner, his bed placed directly in front of it so he could just lounge back when he needed to.  
On the night stand lay empty crushed cans of Red Bull that he had tossed away carelessly.

He sat beside me.  
While some horror flick played, he stared intently.  
Watching it.  
He seemed so unafraid.  
So cool.

I wasn't really paying much attention to the film being shown in front of me.  
Instead I watched the discovery channel.  
My eyes scanned his mysterious muscular body.  
Amazing. Breathtaking.

I felt my face heat up.  
The whole visit to his house it seemed to be on fire.

Skipping the movie, it got even later.

It was around 2:00 in the morning at least.  
He lay there.  
Still and silent.  
My own back was to his.  
I couldn't even think of rolling over.  
If I did...  
I wouldn't know what to do with myself.

Silence.  
A few more minutes and the unimaginable would happen.

I felt Riku shifting in his bed.  
I felt him wiggle closer.  
I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck.

He was so close.  
Asleep.

No.  
He wasn't.

I could hear small noises escape from the 'sleeping' boy behind me.  
Was he having a nightmare?

No.  
He wasn't.

I felt him hit my back by accident.  
He knew he did it.  
And he stopped to see if I would move.

I didn't.  
He continued, the noises trying to stay as soft as they could.

Noises.

Those noises.  
I knew what they were.

Sleeping was the last thing Riku was going to do at this point.

After he was done...

He was touching himself.  
I know he was.

I happened to turn over, acting as if I was asleep.

No.  
I dared myself to turn over.

Stillness.

He came closer.  
Closer and closer until his lips were inches away from mine.  
I knew this because I could now feel the same panting that was on the back of my neck, now smothering my lips.  
The smell of his breath.  
I wanted to taste his lips so bad.

I can't.  
I won't.

Riku continued to jack-off.

Was it to me?

No...  
Maybe.  
Yes.

The next thing I knew, I leaned forward.  
I kissed my best friend.

I KISSED HIM!

It was like my dream.  
I wanted to see if this was all real.

"You were awake all along, Sora?"  
His voice was so deep.  
Chills coursed throughout my body.  
All I could do was nod.

He then admitted to touching himself.  
He told me it was my fault.  
Then he kissed me.

Hard.

He rolled over on top of me.  
Panting.  
And then his lips made their way to my ear.  
For some reason I wanted his lips to explore the other places of my body now.

"Sora, please. Let me see. Let me make mine and your dreams come true."

How did he know?  
Why?

Riku then seemed hesitant at first.  
He was staring at me, concerned.  
I could only see the half of his face that was lit from the moonlight coming in from the window beside us.

His hips began to press down onto my own. It was so forceful. I could feel his fresh bulge through my own pants. Of course he had already started earlier. He seemed like he would just explode any minute all over me. This time he didn't need to hold back his noises. He was louder now, as loud as he could be. As loud as he wanted to be.

His parents had never returned.

My eyes widened even more. All I could do was stare up at him.  
To be honest I didn't know which was more stiff.  
Riku or my body.

He was shy, his movements were slow but quick.  
Riku's hips started to rock along mine.  
Noises escaped my own throat.  
I was loud. I wanted this. I knew I wanted it from the moment it started.  
No. From my dream.

Kisses were carefully placed all along my neck, jaw line, ears, and lips.  
He would both suck and nip at my skin.  
He smelled amazing. Slightly like sun tan lotion mixed with his own sent.  
He's always trying to get a tan.  
Next he lifted me up after kissing me tenderly.  
I sat up as he was still straddled on top of me.  
Off went my shirt. It was tossed over to the side just as carelessly as his red bull cans were.  
Kisses continued down my neck and onto my newly exposed skin.  
He sucked hard. This caused the breaking of my blood vessels.

A hickey.

This seemed like some kind of marking.  
I was now his. And if anyone ever ventured down further than my lips, they would know I was claimed.  
Riku got up off of me at this point to try and examine the love bite the he had left.  
I looked up.  
That stare again.  
This time it said something else to me.

_Touch me please._

I know that was what he wanted.  
I know he wanted to have some sort of reassurance.  
This was okay.  
This was right.

I went ahead and obeyed what his eyes were saying.

My fingers lingered on the zipper of his pants.  
He looked at me, puzzled.  
Eager.  
I could feel the cold metal on my fingertips.  
He grabbed my wrist.  
I pinched his zipper, gripping onto it between my fingers.  
He guided my hand down.  
The pressure from his pants popped open the snap on his jeans.

There it was.  
Riku.

Holy poupu fruit.  
Yeah I might have broken my train of thought... but thinking about it again... the bulge in his pants...

Anyway.  
Continuing...

He guided me passed his zipper, making sure my fingers slid perfectly into the opening of his jeans.  
It was so hard.  
So big.  
I decided I didn't need Riku's help anymore.

I jerked him away, and then I decided to find that convenient hole that they made on the front of all boxer shorts. I grabbed him tightly. He let out a soft moan. I knew he liked this and I made sure not to hold onto him too tightly. I didn't want to hurt him. My hand traveled up and down his stiff shaft.

Amazing.

It's amazing how I can pleasure him with just this tiny movement.  
But what if I took it even further? What if I made him so crazy he would make all of my fantasies come true.  
Faster and faster my hand went. The more rapid I was, the louder Riku got.

He stopped me.

At first I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought I hurt him. He shoke his head and took his pants off completely, tossing them to the side with the rest of our clothes. Then off went my pants.

Ah yes I knew what was coming. Or did I?  
He then mimicked my own movements earlier.

His large hand had found it's way around my own member.  
Sometimes I wonder how I am so 'knowledgeable' of this subject and the names.  
But I guess that's what I get for being Tidus's friend.

After a few moments of him pumping and me squirming, he stopped again.

I happened to glance down at my own throbbing member, it being wet from the pre-cum, only knowing that Riku must have been the same way. He must be getting uncomfortable.

Oh and he was.

"Sora. Let me go... inside of you."

His sentence was one big, long, huffy breath.  
I smiled, only embarrassed and slightly nervous.  
A little afraid.  
But I knew Riku wouldn't do anything to hurt me of course.

I nodded. I agreed to let only him inside of me.  
I knew our bond as friends, no something more, would grow stronger at that instant.  
At least, I hoped it would. Acting different around each other is that last thing I want.

Almost as if he was an animal, Riku's whole actions had changed at the drop of a pin.  
He spun me around.  
I was now on my elbows and knees, wondering how badly this was going to hurt.  
Or rather... how good it was going to feel.  
"Are you ready?" was all I could hear from behind me.  
I was stiff. I couldn't respond.

He took no response as a yes and slid quickly and carefully into me.  
I screamed. Calling out his name.  
His sweet name rolled off my tongue undeniably.

Riku waited.  
I could feel small tears rolling down my face. I could also feel Riku's smile from behind me.  
How long had he wanted this?  
He waited long enough.

"Riku.. Please..."

That's all that escaped from my parted lips.  
He acknowledged, and continued.  
Slowly at first, both of out naked bodies rubbing all over each others.  
Sweat. Passion. Love. Lust.  
All of it one big function on Riku's bed.  
He moved like a machine. In and out. Faster and faster.  
Our breathing in sync.  
He kept calling out my name. Such a deep voice.  
Oh how I loved to hear every uttered noise.  
I felt as if I could burst right then and there, all over his sheets.

And as if I thought it couldn't get any better than this...  
It did.  
He pulled me closer so that I was on my own palms this time, and clutched onto my constrained cock.  
Riku began to jack me off this time.

If I could possibly describe the feeling that coursed throughout my body, I would.  
My body was weak, shuddering, and feeling even more boiling than before.  
I felt dizzy now, all the blood rushing into that one spot.  
This time, I really was going to disengage.

I screamed.  
I called out his name as my body pulsed, heart pounding against my chest.  
His name was all that came out in a squeaked out exhalation.  
My juices overflowed and coated Riku's hand and his black bed sheets.  
Black wasn't a really good choice at this moment.  
Only then, right after, Riku came.  
Inside of me.

The way he called out my name this time was different.  
It wasn't just once.  
It was over and over again.  
Over and over until he stopped ejaculating.  
Both of our exhausted bodies collapsed.  
He was so warm, and so was I.

After laying there, we decided to get dressed again.  
He helped me get back into my clothes.  
We went to lay down on his bed, the sheets still remaining there.  
He didn't seem to worry about it as much.  
In fact, I think he enjoyed the scent of us both.

He held me.  
The whole night, whispering my name as well as explaining the raft, all until I fell asleep completely.  
He was saying something about regretting telling Kairi and wishing it was just him and I that escaped these islands.  
But I couldn't tell you if that was his thoughts, or my own.  
To be honest, I would love to run away with him.

Riku.  
I love him.

One day I'll let him know.

- Sora

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**A/N: Holy. Cow. That took about three days to write. I had a bunch of blocks and just WOW! Hope you all enjoyed the nice juicy details. Next chapter on the way. Not many more to go and this story is done.**


	10. Other Worlds :Age 14:

**A/N: Hm. I seem to want to write different stories, and I know this one isn't as popular. So here is to sort of wrapping this story up with two more chapters.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.**

Diary,

After that crazy night I don't know what to think anymore.  
Riku seems to go on with every-day life.  
It's so crazy, that I'm 14 now and nothing has happened in between.

Everything is normal.  
Everything is how it was.  
Everything... is... weird.

Riku gives me glances, but still treats me the same.  
We still race. Swim. Hang out by the tree.  
We even go over to the other's house and nothing happens.

It makes me wonder if he really does like me.  
No. Love me?  
Does he love me?

Maybe it is a lot harder for him to show it.  
He is impulsive, and that night was such a dream.

Maybe this is for the best.

On a lighter note Riku discussed this raft with us!  
A chance to finally go out and explore other worlds!  
Kairi seems really excited!  
I know I am!  
Finally a really expedition.  
Riku seems a little hesitant about a girl coming with us, though he always has been that way.

After we talked about the raft, I was told to get things to help finish.  
Riku was so proud of his idea that we ended up building the raft right away.

I wanted to take a little rest from working on it to think over some things.  
My relationship with Riku.  
I fell fast asleep, followed by some weird reality that was a dream.

I think...

Kairi woke me up and a cranky silver-haired boy called me lazy.  
Of course he did.

That's alright. Tomorrow is our last day on the island.  
I'm gonna be captain!  
He'll see.  
I'll show him I'm not lazy!

- Sora


	11. Last Entry :Age 14:

**A/N: Last chapter of this story. I rather not just drop it. I'd rather finish it off crappy. Hahah. Thanks to all who enjoyed and watched.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts.**

Diary,

We talked about it and I can't help but lay here and think of everything that happened today. Amazing. All of it.  
Riku, Kairi, and I all stayed out on the island through sunset and talked about our journey. I laid on the tree, Kairi sat beside me, and Riku stood there. He seems so much older.  
So mature. So right and confident in his decisions.

I kind of wish I could be like him.

Sure I'm scared. Sure I want to go. Of course I'll miss my mom.  
But that can't stop me. None of it can.  
Riku told me that I am not a little kid anymore and our parents would understand our choice. Of course we can't tell them.

They'll stop us from going.

I know we'll be okay. We're prepared. And don't worry, I'll remember this diary as I go. I'll take it along with me.  
I don't want to forget my new journey or the new friends I meet along the way.

A storm seems to be coming. It's very windy and hot outside. I better get ready for tomorrow.

Dinner should be ready soon.  
I guess I should enjoy my last home-cooked meal.

-Sora

**END**


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